Too much Excitement

 After the day I had yesterday, I am thinking it is just not safe outside my house any more.  I needed to make a trip to cave country to deliver the Defender that I sold.  

  
 I got on !-95 and headed north only to see a red Ford Ranger broke down on the side of the road.  No more than 5 miles further and I see a white Ford Ranger broke down too.  I was beginning to wonder why, since I happen to drive white Ford Ranger myself, these trucks were broke down.  When I saw the blue ford Ranger broke down, I instantly thought to myself that it was very patriotic since they were arranged as red, white, and blue as I drove by them.  Going through Orlando was where I saw the next Ford Ranger and this one was red again.  Suddenly I began to have concerns, since my white one was the next color in the patriotic color scheme and my check engine light came on. 

 Turns out that my gas cap was loose due to my recent fuel stop.  I should have used the restroom prior to fueling and possibly the resulting emergency dash to the restroom would not have resulted in my haste and lack of securing the gas cap properly.  Oh well, lesson learned on that one. 

 I manage to make it to the delivery site and unload the Defender for the sucker, err buyer, and headed home again.  I think to myself about the lessons learned from diving the unit and there is just a bit of sadness to the parting.  I would probably still be happily diving it if only some promises would have been kept before I lost patience with waiting and gave up. 

 If you think small towns do not have opportunities for the traveler, you are mistaken.  I made another stop for fuel and while pumping gas a small car pulled up and a 30 something girl got out to fill her car.  She began cussing while digging through her purse about missing her credit card.  This is where it got funny.  She looked directly at me and said, “How bout I blow ya fer a tank of gas?”  I chuckled and told her that I did not think so.  Then she says that since I am not that old maybe I would prefer to f**k instead.  I told her to just wait and some high school kid would show up sooner or later and help her out.

 
 I finally manage to get back to the Turnpike and have smooth sailing until just short of reaching Jupiter.  As some of you already know, I have not always been the upstanding saint that I am today.  As such I tend to monitor my rear view mirror constantly.  I saw this car zig zagging through traffic like he was Ricky Racer or something and really hauling butt.  The car looked like something out of Tokyo Drift.  When it went by it sounded like a sewing machine on steroids.  He cut off a car that swerved towards a semi that was hauling sod.  The semi driver jerked to avoid the car and thus last a pallet of sod.  Where do you suppose this sod landed?  Yep, right in front of me and I had no place to go and no time to react. 

 This part seemed like it was in slow motion like one of those Transporter movies with Jason Stratham.  The sod was sliding and when my poor little truck hit it the right side came off the ground by at least 2-3 foot.  I was in the left lane with a concrete divider next to me.  I remember seeing pavement out my side window instead of the divider.  If I turned to bring the truck back down I would drive right into the divider, if I turned to avoid the divider I would roll my truck.  I thought to myself “shit, I don’t have a roll cage in here” and decided that it would be better to hit the divider and possibly just slide along it.  As I steered into the wall my truck can down with a rather earth shattering jar and I miraculously managed to stay off the divider too.  This is the first time I have ever had a vehicle on 2 wheels (ok, except stock cars, hunting heaps, 4x4s, and trail trucks) that I did not roll it.  I guess that all of those years growing up in Hazzard County paid off.